Barbara Walters, of 20/20, did a story on gender roles in Kabul , Afghanistan , several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to, and are happy to, maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, ‘Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?’

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, “Land Mines.”

Moral of the story is no matter what language you speak or where you go: BEHIND EVERY MAN, THERE’S A SMART WOMAN

Someone directed me to this link today and I find it interesting. I would guess that their analysis comes from their ecclesiocentric scales out-weighing their patriocentric ones. And, of course, looks like it is all the fault of women, as usual.

Contrary to what is being reported, the True Womanhood blog is NOT shutting down. However, the comments are taking a sabbatical.

Big difference.

So you will know, it wasn’t one single topic, one single person, anyone’s denominational affiliation or any one person who influenced my decision. In fact, it would surprise most of you if you saw who the e-mail note I posted came from…a strong opponent of patriocentricity, hardly a patriarchy-lite sort of gal.

During a two month period last fall, I went back through the TW archives and read every single article and every single comment on this blog….over 20,000. I was amazed at the incredible wisdom and commitment to the Word of God that I saw. In spite of many efforts and pressure from patriocentrists during the last year, I have purposed to not take down this website.

However, as I read, one thing that became very clear to me was a change in how Scripture is being handled in the comments. One of the first rules of evaluating the Word is to examine what the bulk of Scripture teaches about any given subject. This is how the subject of patriocentricity and the gender issue have been handled. Sadly, I have seen a growing shift away from dealing with Scripture in that manner and I have been uncomfortable with it, hence the decision this week.

Since I made this decision, I have heard from many people who have thanked me. One person described to me how TW had become an “increasingly dark place” and others rightly observed that I had tried very hard to reverse that but it seemed to be more difficult to do all the time. I agree. So, for now, there will be no comments posted. I will continue to post links as they come my direction and, Lordwilling, will have the site fully running with comments in a few weeks!

You can e-mail me with questions or comments at

I received this e-mail and wanted to share it with the rest of you. It has confirmed my own concerns over the past couple of months and especially during the past 48 hours. It also represents some of the other private comments I have been receiving from readers, thoughts that also echo my own concerns.

The purpose of the Christian life is to glorify God. Rather than expressing the importance of this truth or presenting thought that reinforces it, it seems like much that has been written here of late does exactly what we have accused the patriocentrists of doing…relegated our own preferences rather than the truth of Scripture to the center of our callings. Some of the comments sound like our own equivalent of “but they have such a lovely family” as if there is no absolute Truth that can be discovered on the pages of Scripture and that happiness trumps all else, even holiness.

It seems that there is a fine line between calling out the patriocentrists on their teachings and on their behaviors and relegating all men to a position of bad guy and I am appalled. Carolyn Custis James has called this relationship between the sexes the “blessed alliance” and I think it is to that end that we, as true women in the 21st century, ought to aspire. There is a difference between running from legalism and tossing out every good and true teaching in Scripture for fear that we sound like legalists. There is no such thing as cheap grace, yet this is what many of the comments have sounded like. Until I can sort through this and once again feel peace that the conversation on this blog is glorifying to the Lord, TW will be on sabbatical. I want to regroup and will open comments again at some point in the future. Until then, they will remain closed but the site will stay open so people have access to the many thousands of great comments and thoughts, especially regarding the patriocentric movement. Here is the note I got this am:

“Karen please forgive me if I offend you in any way. I truly appreciate all the work you do to expose the patriarchy movement for what it is!! Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have helped my family and so many others see there way out of that faulty teaching.

I am however concerned about what I have been reading on True Womanhood. There has been a voice and a sentiment there that has been getting increasingly loud and I fear has become the dominant voice. I read there regularly and I know that were I still involved in patriarchy and came to True Womanhood today, like I did several years ago, seeking Truth and balance I would probably walk away and turn right back to patriarchy.

The dominant voices on the TW site today have a VERY liberal view of Scripture and some do not even seem to feel that the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. This really concerns me because I think it plays right into the hands of the Patriocentric crowd. They do read that site as do many like me and never comment. I am sure when they see women arguing against having a biblical worldview and arguing for marrying an unbeliever they feel vindicated in their teaching. It sets up a very easy “I told you so” for them. If you don’t hold to patrio teachings you slide off into a lukewarm, barely Christian belief system. The dominant voices on TW today almost seem to affirm what the patrios teach, at least they would for someone just beginning to question patriarchy.

The recent argument that marrying an unbeliever is acceptable FLOORED me. If I had seen that three years ago I would have discounted TW then gone over to No Longer Quivering and realized that many of them were not Christians. This would have affirmed in my eyes the patrio group and made me think those on the “other” side were unbelievers or at the very least in serious error.

It is clear we can not have strong, godly families if our husbands don’t even believe. I am very worried that the tone on TW and the increasing visibility of No Longer Quivering is leading many women to think patrio teachings aren’t so bad after all if the alternative is to shun the basic teachings of the bible.

Ok I am off my high horse and I will be praying about this. I know you are a strong believer and I see you attempt to correct these ladies with Truth but they seem to be so loud and their voice now is dominant on TW and that did not used to be the case. Let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to help and please disregard this if I have offended.”

Time for a new thread…..

Continued from patriocentricity nine.

I have long believed that the patriocentric culture is both created and propped up by women.  In fact, though men are taking center stage within this movement, I believe that it has not been initiated by them, but rather, the natural patriocentric man is flattered and his ego is stroked by being given the title of “prophet, priest, and king” of his home. Like the men of Stepford, I believe many of them are being manipulated and programmed as a reaction to our post-modern world, willing participants in building a culture of another time when “men were men and women were cherished and lovely.” (If you haven’t watched this whole film, be warned that these last two scenes are a spoiler.  I mainly want you to see segment 13 and through segment 14 and the final shot of Glenn Close.)

I recently came across an interesting blog that is linked to by some women who also adore the patriocentric lifestyle. Reading through it gave me a lot of insight into the methods used on the men in this movement in much the same way that reading Mormon writer Helen Andelin’s book Fascinating Womanhood did.  It has helped me understand why there is such an emphasis placed on phrases like “biblical womanhood” and “a woman’s role” rather than a serving one another, organic, mature fellowship of believers perspective on men and women relationships. Note the phrases like “Geisha” and “Southern woman” and “make him fall in love with me” and “feminine art.” It is all role playing with the desire to manipulate and control the outcome.

I look forward to your thoughts…..

Someone posed a great question to me which has turned into a suggestion and now a new blog thread. She wondered if there was or could be a “best of” quotes from patriocentrists for those who are overwhelmed at the huge amount of information online regarding the patriocentrists. (This blog alone has nearly 21,000 comments, many of which address this issue and it is only one of many commenting on the same topic.)

To that end, I am beginning a new thread on this blog that is for direct quotes only, along with links to the quote in context if online or a few lines surrounding the quote along with a reference if it is not available on line. I believe this idea is a good one. The most effective way to refute wrong teaching is with the real words of real patriocentrists.

Let’s also refrain from discussing those quotes on this thread and instead if you want to discuss them, bring your comments back over to the current running thread on here, listing the quote number you are talking about. I am in the process of going back through all the comments myself and will be posting quotes that fit the criteria. Please feel free to do likewise.

Another note:  I will be removing any attempts to discuss the comments on this thread and if there is an error, please drop me a note and I will correct the original post.  I want to make this as easy as possible for wanderers who want to understand all the uproar over patriocentricity!

Continuing here from thread 7.

Please note I also changed the dates so the new “best of” thread could remain at the top of the page.