December 2007


Disney likes to think of the Princesses as role models, but what a sorry bunch of wusses they are. Typically, they spend much of their time in captivity or a coma, waking up only when a Prince comes along and kisses them. The most striking exception is Mulan, who dresses as a boy to fight in the army, but–like the other Princess of color, Pocahontas–she lacks full Princess status and does not warrant a line of tiaras and gowns. Otherwise the Princesses have no ambitions and no marketable skills, although both Snow White and Cinderella are good at housecleaning.

Read the rest of the article here.

Having only recently ventured into the world of girls via having a daughter, dealing with positive role models for young girls isn’t something that has come up yet! On the one hand, I don’t have a problem with pretend play that involves being a damsel in distress, a prissy princess, etc., but I certainly don’t think it’s healthy for girls to only aspire to such things. What do you think about allowing daughters to play with a character toy whose sole purpose is to catch a prince and live happily ever after? I tend to think, “No way!” But I always wanted to be Harriet the Spy, so . . .

I am an adultolescent. I’m 25, fully employed, making enough money to be financially independent from my parents. Nonetheless, I live at home, in what some would call an extended childhood. I work just 7 miles from my parents’ house; so, when hired six months ago, I thought it just made sense to stay where I was. My parents are happy to have me, and, though it’s controversial, they won’t charge me rent. Living at home, I’m able to help out a little, and I work for the family business on the side. I’m also saving large amounts of each paycheck, placing it into downpayment and retirement savings.

Life is pretty good. My dad helps me with car problems, and my mom very often cooks dinner. I come home to people I love and enjoy. In fact, life is so good, that very goodness/comfort/ease makes me wonder about things. I often wonder if I should move out–still in town but in an apartment I rent all my own, not because I dislike my parents (not at all) or because I want more freedom. I just wonder if it’s the right thing to do, if moving out would please God in a way that my child-like living situation doesn’t. And I don’t know.

Recently I came across an article by a godly man I admire very much, whose writings/teachings/messages have impacted my life for eternal good: “A Church-Based Hope for Adultolescents.”

Among Pastor John’s many points, he suggests parents should do all they can to get their kids financial independence by age 22 or sooner. (In other words, maybe I should’ve moved out three years ago.)

I compare his thoughts with those of certain other movements, Christian movements that tell single women to stay at home until marriage–no matter when and if it comes. These same movements would likely disapprove of other life choices I’ve made: college, grad school, a career. Since godly, well-meaning Christians differ on this topic, and since I find no special revelation from God that directly tells me what to do, I feel a little unsure.

There seems to be no exact blueprint for my life situation, not that there would be if I married at 22 and started a family, necessarily. We aren’t cookie-cutter Christians, thank goodness. I focus on the things I *do* know: my eternal destiny, my relationship with Christ, my need to honor my parents, my need to work in some capacity. Beyond that, I take one step at a time, wondering. Where should I go from here? Continue my adultolescence, where my parents are pleased and I’m comfortable? or Put money into rent for a more independent living situation, minutes from home?

I trust God will show me.

This is thread #4 regarding patriarchy, patriocentricity, visionary daughters, and includes a discussion on the books So Much More and Passionate Housewives Desperate for God.

I would encourage you to go back and read through the past posts on these topics…lots of great discussion and thought-provoking insights.

This is thread #1

This is thread #2.

This is thread #3. 

Last night for the first time in seventeen years of married life, I was introduced as “the woman behind the man.” I thought, “I am? Really? I don’t feel like that. Not in the least!”

I’ve been an official stay-at-home-mom now for a full four months. And I’ve learned a few things.

  • For one, it’s a whole lot easier to go to work when you’ve had a sleepless night than to stay home. When I’m exhausted, I’m a lot more brittle in-the-home than out-of-the-home, I’ve found.
  • The house gets dirtier faster.
  • The meals are better now.
  • The laundry is about the same. I get more clothes dirty, but I have a little more time to launder them. So, I break even.
  • My wardrobe is completely different, but I haven’t figured out what exactly that different looks like.
  • When the kids are sick, it’s also a whole lot easier to be an at-home mom. I think that was probably the worst part about working — having to juggle schedules and sickness and to never be sure if you made the best decision.

But honestly? I don’t feel much different now as a woman and a mother and a scholar and a wife and a person and a believer now than I did six months ago. I’m pretty much the same.

Recently I mentioned to some ladies that I was now a stay-at-home-mom, and they responded as if I was now a fulfilled woman. Yeah, I like it. A LOT! Yeah, I’m very thankful! I was thankful before too. I’m tickled that I get this opportunity, but it doesn’t cut into the previous blessings God had given me.

I later heard the same women talk openly about how selfish and unChristian work-outside-the-home moms are. I thought, “They are talking about who I was. They think they can say that because, they assume, I’m different than I was. I’m not. At all.”

I just don’t think there are the vast differences between SAHMoms or WOHMoms either side presumes. We all love our kids — a lot. We all need a better system for folding the laundry. We all wish the house were a tad cleaner. We all need creative fulfillment. We all need a few more kisses throughout the day.

What’s all the hullabaloo about?

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